New Definitions For A World In Financial Crisis

When the financial world crashes, some old words get new meanings.....

CEO — chief embezzlement officer
CFO — corporate fraud office
Broker — what the person handling my account has made me
Financial planner — a guy whose phone has just been disconnected
Bull market — a random market movement that causes an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius
Bear market — a 6- to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex
Value investing — the art of buying low and selling even lower
P/E ratio — the percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing
Standard & Poor — what this market correction has made many of us
Profit — an archaic word no longer in common use