Showing posts with label Holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Holidays. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A Politically Correct Holiday Greeting



The following is an anonymous "politically correct" holiday greeting that has been circulating by email and on blogs and social media websites....

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Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2000, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical disability, religious faith, choice of computer platform,or sexual preference of the wishee.

Legal Disclaimer: By accepting this agreement, you are accepting these terms.

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Sincerely,

(Name withheld for legal, social and cultural considerations.)
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Friday, December 26, 2008

Some People Should Not Try To Sing Christmas Songs

There are simply some people who should not try to sing Christmas songs.

Especially when a video camera is on.

This guy is going to be famous around the world, but perhaps he would rather not be.....

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Thursday, December 25, 2008

What Is Festivus? Where Did Festivus Come From?

"It's a Festivus for the rest of us!"

But just what is Festivus?

Where did it come from?

How did it originate?

Someone did an amazing job of putting together video clips from the television show Seinfeld which answers all of these questions.....

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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Do You Need A Funny Last Minute Gift?

Have you considered giving a Radio Controlled Tarantula for Christmas?

It would be the gift that they would remember for years, that is for sure!
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Sunday, December 7, 2008

Get The Wrong Gift For Your Wife Or Your Girlfriend And You May End Up In The Doghouse

This little four minute video is actually very well done. It shows what happens to men when they get bad gifts for their wives or girlfriends.....

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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Worst Christmas Photo Ever

I don't know who to feel more sorry for - the poor little dog or the woman for being married to that guy:

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Monday, November 24, 2008

Thanksgiving Humor

This very funny piece of Thanksgiving humor was emailed to us the other day:

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THANKSGIVING FORECAST

Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall of cold shoulder.

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other.

A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day.
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Friday, November 21, 2008

A Funny Thanksgiving Joke

Woman To Stock Boy: "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

Stock Boy To Woman: "No ma'am, they're dead"
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